Q: Why didn’t anyone answer my question?

A: Rhetorical Questioning Pattern

There you are in front of the class, speaking eloquently and dynamically, keeping them engaged, and you ask a question. Thinking someone surely would respond, you look at them with anticipation. A moment passes – you see blinking eyes and you’d swear you hear crickets. What happened?

One of the most common reasons audience members don’t answer a question is that they don’t know they are supposed to answer the question.

How silly is that? If you ask a question, of course you expect an answer, right? You may think that’s so, but that may not be what you’ve established as a norm since you began speaking. You may have created a rhetorical questioning pattern.

Trainers don’t always realize they have created that norm until they hear the crickets, so to speak. Audience members take cues from the trainer to determine their participation expectations. Below are some trainer behaviors that initiate, establish, and reinforce the rhetorical questioning pattern. The trainer:

• uses a rhetorical question as a grabber or opener to the session. Using a rhetorical question to open a session is a great technique. It gets the audience members mentally prepared and engaged for the topic at hand. However, you’ve just initiated a possible norm. If your next question is rhetorical, you’ve established the norm.
• doesn’t prepare the audience for the type of question being asked. If you have established and reinforced the rhetorical questioning pattern, by only asking rhetorical questions thus far, it shouldn’t come as a surprise when you ask a question in the same manner and don’t get a response. The same thing happens when you repeatedly ask questions and take responses. If you then ask a rhetorical question and don’t prepare them, they’ll attempt to answer your question out loud instead of pondering the question internally.
• doesn’t allow time for the audience to consider the question. Unfortunately, some trainers are uncomfortable with silence and if a response is not immediate, the trainer will continue to talk. It doesn’t matter if the trainer offers clarification, restates the question, or answers the question themselves, it cues the audience to remain quiet. The more times this occurs, the more the trainer reinforces the rhetorical question pattern.

So what’s a trainer to do? The first line of defense is to cue your audience appropriately. Clearly let them know you’ve asked a rhetorical question or one you actually expect an answer. Below are some sample phrases to cue your audience.

Rhetorical cues:

• Just consider/think/ponder this a moment …
• I don’t want you to share your answer out loud, just recall a time…
• In a minute, I’ll ask you to share – for right now, can you think of an example…
  

Expected answer cues:

• Someone tell me…
• Can anyone tell me…
• Would some share…
  

The second line of defense is situational assessment. For example, you ask a question anticipating an answer, but instead you hear the crickets – now what? Follow the steps below and ask yourself some questions.

1. Did you give the appropriate cue? If no, then give it. If yes, move on to the next step.
2. Did you give them an appropriate amount of time to consider and answer? If no, then be quiet and let them consider your question. The more personal, complicated, or risky the question, the more time they’ll need. If yes, move on to the next step.
3. Did you state the question clearly? If you’re getting blank stares or wrinkled brows, then maybe not. If not, don’t just restate the question, rather reword or give additional context to your question. If they still don’t answer, move to the next step.
4. Answer the question.

An audience may experience all kinds of fears and anxieties when faced with answering a question from the trainer. Don’t add to it by your ambiguous expectations. Give clear direction and you’ll get your questions answered or pondered as you expected.

The Three Rs of Processing a Training Activity: Review, Reflect, and Relate

How many of you have done this (or experienced) the following? Your class has just completed a wonderful activity you chose especially for them. You proudly ask, “So, what did we learn from this?” After a moment of thought (or not) you hear bits of insight from your participants:

• Not to trust you again, you make us do role-plays
• Never volunteer
• Not to pair up with Julia again, she cheats
• I don’t know. Say, why did we do that?

When you provide a learning activity, it is up to you (the trainer) to translate that experience into learning. If you follow the three Rs of processing an activity, you’ll find that responsibility much easier.

Review

Even though your participants have just experienced your activity, they need to have their experience reviewed. They are focused on the end of the activity, not how they got to that point. You need to help them see the path they just took. For example:

Review: I had you look at a picture that obviously had a lot going on in it. I asked you to count how many faces you saw in the picture and to call out that number. Almost immediately, you heard people call out three, and then four.

You need to put their thoughts back to the moment that began their learning experience. This often begins as a summary of your original directions.

Reflect

Now that you’ve reviewed what you had asked them to do, you ask them to reflect and share their experience. Below is an example of the reflection questions a trainer would ask and the common responses from participants.

Reflection: “When you heard the numbers three and four called out, and you had found that same number, what were your thoughts or what did you do?”

Participants: “I stopped looking, because I found what they’d found.”

Reflection: “When you heard people call out 5 and 6, but you hadn’t found that many, what were your thoughts or what did you do?”

Participants: “I looked even harder because didn’t see what they did.”

Reflection: “What happened when I told you that there were 9 faces in the picture?”

Participants: “Wait, let me look harder.” or “Prove it!”

Of course, as you count and show the faces, there are all kinds of comments, including rationalization as to why they didn’t see the faces.

Relate

The next step is to have them relate this current experience to your real-life learning point. In this case, the learning point is an awareness of how we have difficulty moving on from our first impressions and that this failure to be open to the other person hinders our communication with and understanding of the other person.

Relate: “What you just experienced is similar to the issues of first impressions. First impressions commonly occur in the first three minutes of meeting someone. Actually, the first impression occurs within the first minute. The other two minutes you spend justifying your impression. Think back to a time that either you hung on to a first “bad” impression or that someone hung on to a first “bad” impression of you. What kinds of troubles did that cause for you or the other person?”

Participants: “I think someone did that with me because from the very beginning I couldn’t say anything right.” or “When I first met this one guy, I couldn’t stand him. I avoided working with him. It took a year before I realized he wasn’t as bad as I thought.”

Relate: “What other kinds of consequences are there for hanging on first impressions?”

Participants: “Missed opportunities, such as ….”

The relate questions continue until your participants have articulated your learning point(s).

This process follows a basic bit of adult learning theory – adult learners want to participate in their own learning. You could easily lecture on the dangers of hanging onto first impressions, but we know that learning is more powerful when it comes from within. When the participants share their own awareness’ and insights, they are contributing to their own learning, as well as, contributing to the learning of those around them.

If the participants are having difficulty following your questioning, make a more direct cause and effect connection between the review and reflect steps.

There’s a bonus to this process. It’s a reality check for your activity’s appropriateness for your learning point(s). If your participants can follow this process with you and the responses you get from them match your intentions – fantastic! If not, consider whether your activity is too abstract. Sometimes we choose an activity because it sounds fun. If you have to force it to be relevant, then it’s not really fun and, it’s not relevant. Then you’re back to “So, why’d we do this?”

Tips for Working with Introverted Participants

Here are some tips for working with introverts:

• Give them time to reflect (Use the 10 second rule - ask a question and be quite for 10 seconds. Nine times out of ten, if an introvert has something to share or say, it will come out around count eight)
• If you are having everyone share some thought, have them write their thought down first then ask them to read their writing. Or, have them share with a partner before they share with the whole group.
• If you use activities:

1. choose low-key (e.g., individual or very small group) activities, watch for risk of personal embarrassment
2. whatever rules you have, follow them
3. don't set up winners and losers
   

• If you have them chart their group work (to share with the whole group), make sure everyone has a marker in their hand to contribute their own thoughts.
• If you are an extravert, find ways to get comfortable with silence and reflection. The introverted minds will be highly active and engaged, but they may not appear that way.

Note: if the members of this group are familiar with each other or the topic, these guidelines may be less necessary.

Are You Stuck in Your Comfort Zone?

Just recently, I had a young trainer (tenure, not age) rationalize a training behavior he uses that is counter to adult learning theory. This is not the first time I’ve heard trainers express rationalizations for poor training technique. Let me give you some examples.

• I go through the material so fast because I used to teach in public schools and between managing child behavior and covering what the state mandates, I had to just spill the information.
• I don't believe in visual aids. I describe things well enough, besides it’s all right there in their manuals and that’s a visual aid.
• This stuff is so elementary – it’s common sense. Why is this a four-hour training? I can get through this in two hours.
• I do this training different every time – it still doesn’t feel right (or – to keep it fresh!)

All these statements come from trainers not wanting to move out of their comfort zones.

Adult learning theories, such as learning styles, multiple intelligences, etc., provide techniques to meet the learning needs of all types of learners. And just in case you’re wondering, these theories are not just one person’s musings. These theories are from highly regarded and respected professionals, based on experience, research, and analysis.

Most learning theory attempts to offer strategies for a well-rounded learning experience for the participants. Well rounded in that you’re meeting the needs of any population in your audience, not just the population with learning needs like yours.

Ah – therein lies the rub. You, the trainer, have learning needs just like everyone else. New trainers will often train to their own needs, a.k.a. their comfort zone. And that’s ok – initially. As trainers gain experience and expertise, they should be moving out of their own teaching and learning style to meet the needs of other learning styles. For example, just because you’re an extravert doesn’t mean all of your training should be experiential and just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean all of your training should be conceptual.

My advice? Listen to what you say about your own training behavior. If what you say is contrary to adult learning theory and you don’t attempt to change your behavior – you’ve rationalized your poor performance and are stuck in your comfort zone.

If you don’t know if your classroom techniques are contrary to adult learning theory? Educate yourself – after all, you are a training professional.

Get Out of Your Own Way

I was reading an article on success the other day. Toward the end of a paragraph discussing pitfalls, it read, “… sometimes we need to get out of our own way.” It occurred to me that this idea is true for many things in our lives, including in our role as a trainer.

It is definitely important to understand the learning styles and personality traits of our learners, but we must understand those same things in ourselves. Our own learning styles and preferences can get in the way of our mission as a trainer and hinder the learning environment and process. Let me share just one example.

On the scale of introversion and extraversion, I weigh a little more heavily on the extraverted side. Right away, most people think “Yes, that’s what we want in a trainer!” Yes, we want those extraverted characteristics and when extraverted behaviors are not managed, they can be damaging to the learning environment for the introverted learners in your classroom.

Remember, to get the best from your introverts they must be allowed to disengage from you and those around them to think, process, and problem-solve – they are reflective learners. Extraverts are natural engagers and have a difficult time not engaging (e.g., talking to themselves or others) – they are engaged learners.

Something I am constantly managing is my own desire to engage during quiet times in a training session. Quite time in a classroom might show up during individual activities, like pre and post-tests, individual worksheet activities, reading quietly, etc.

In one of the trainings I provide, I ask people to read the results of their personality assessment quietly. There is always at least one extraverted person that will articulate their surprise at the insight of the information. I hear a participant say (to no one in particular), “Oh my God. This is so true!” They lift their head to see whom they might engage and most of the time they look at me. My immediate desire is to engage them and begin an enthusiastic dialogue about their results. If I do that during this time of desired quiet, I produce an environment that creates a struggle for my introverts to stay disengaged and reflective.

To re-enforce the desire for quiet time and to express my empathy of their experience without damaging the learning environment for the introverts, I acknowledge them (I look them in the eye), smile, and take my attention away from them (look or move away). This non-verbal approach of classroom management helps the extravert manage their own desire for engagement and he or she will return to reading quietly, most of the time.

The bottom line: Just because I have extraverted tendencies, does not mean I have to express them without managing them. I must remain mindful to stay out of my own way and provide an environment where learners of different styles can be successful.

The Sandwich Technique

You’ve heard of this technique. When giving corrective feedback, sandwich one bad point between two good points. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line of time this concept kept its general intent, but lost its meaningfulness and power.

The following quote is from S. Goodeve from ezinearticles.com and is a common definition of the intent of the technique: “Use this "feedback sandwich" technique for giving feedback that is more palatable….”

I’m not saying that Goodeve’s intended use for the sandwich technique is wrong. I’m saying that “palatable” is an extremely low expectation of what this technique can offer – when done correctly.

WikiHow.com offers a few reasons why the technique works:

• To relax the other person and help create a situation or a state-of-mind where they will be more open to receiving the criticism or advice.
• To reduce the possibility that the other person will get angry with you for pointing out their faults.
• To let the other person know that you are “on their side.” Rather than being antagonistic, you are showing that you recognize their good points, too.
• By closing with a positive statement, you remind the person of their strengths, their worth and their value. They are more likely to be motivated to accept the negative if they are reminded that they are “not all bad.”

Here again, I don’t believe these reasons are wrong, it’s just they are skewed to make you, the feedback giver, feel better. Instead of the potentially powerful results being the focus of the interaction, everybody feeling good is the focus. How unfortunate.

The biggest mistake I see in this technique is in the third layer and I’ll get to that later. First, let’s consider the purpose of each layer from the feedback giver and receive perspective.

Layer One – Positive Recognition

The Giver. The behavior I want corrected is rarely an isolated behavior. Most often what is wrong is part of a bigger picture, the beginning, middle, or end of an event, or a piece of something else. If I focus on just the offending part, I miss the opportunity to coach this person and support their development.

The Receiver. The behavior you want corrected is rarely an isolated behavior (sound familiar?). You must earn the right to expose my failure and the way you do that is by exposing or recognizing my success. By acknowledging my success (especially when it’s true and relevant to the issue), I know that I can more readily honor your judgment on my failures. Take the time to see the bigger picture and give credit (good and bad) where it’s due.

Layer Two – Corrective Feedback

The Giver. Give corrective feedback in three steps.

1. Objectively identify the wrong or inappropriate behavior.
2. Remind them of the goal of the correct behavior.
3. Ask for and agree upon the correct or different behavior.

The Receiver. When you follow these steps, I’ll still try to make excuses, find fault, or even blame you. Hold to the steps. If my issues are legitimate, give them credit. I may not admit it, but if I can get you derailed or distracted with other issues, I miss the opportunity for you to coach me and support my development and we both lose out in the end.

Layer Three – Empowerment

The Giver. To get the best from people, they need to feel empowered. This part is often mistaken as a verbal “pat-on-the-back” and it is, but that’s not all it is. This is the time I need to offer encouragement, choice, hope, direction, confirmation, affirmation, or expected success. I need to leave this person feeling empowered. If they’re happy too? Bonus! But I must remember to look at the bigger picture in this situation, too. I have to decide what is more important in any given situation, their immediate happiness or their ultimate success. For me, it’s usually their ultimate success because therein lies the issue of worth and value that WikiHow references.

The Receiver. I need to feel as though there is light at the end of the tunnel, that I can improve the good work I already do, and that I can trust your coaching and guidance. By offering me empowerment, I am able to contribute to my own development.

Remember the sandwich technique, but not as the palatable good point-bad point-good point.

The meaningful and powerful sandwich technique is:

• positive recognition
• corrective feedback
• empowerment.

Give it a try. If some part of it is not successful, walk through the technique for yourself – feel empowered to use it again to develop success. I believe it’s call practice what you preach. ;)

Roxanne

The Art of Questions

I have been contributing to people’s ah-ha’s (educating others) all my life. I realized just how powerful that could be when I told a neighbor-boy (we were both about 7 years old) that Santa didn’t physically exist and all the logical reasons why. The fall-out from that little bit of truth was shocking to my little brain. Why was he so traumatized and why were his parents so upset at me? It was the truth wasn’t it?

My mother explained to me that saying things to someone that are so dramatically different from their own understanding is like hitting them in the face with a fish – it hurts, it’s shocking, and now it’s more about what I did to them, rather than being about the truth. She suggested I try asking logical questions and let them see the truth for themselves. Ahhhh, the birth of the Socratic method in my little mind.

It worked just fine when I helped my best friend understand that she wasn’t born by being found under a cabbage patch in the bayou. Of course, her parents were upset with me, but I didn’t care, she knew the truth and we were still friends. Ok, so she was a little traumatized over the pictures I showed her, but that’s another story.

Now I contribute to people’s ah-ha’s by providing training sessions, conference workshops, meeting presentations, coaching, and mentoring. My areas of specialization include communication, leadership, presentation development and public speaking, employee development, group facilitation, and training of trainers (which is a huge topic in itself). Oh, and now through a blog.

The point, you ask? Learn the art of asking questions to facilitate learning. The questions you ask will either facilitate or squash the learning. For example:

Squash: Why did you do it that way?

Using the word why typically puts people on the defensive. Instead of answering in a way that explores decision-making, they begin defending their decision.

Facilitate: How did you decide to do it that way?

There is no implied judgment in this question. It simply asks the person to reflect and consider their decision making process.

It’s not that you’ll never use why in a question, just be aware of the potential consequences (good and bad) of the questions you ask.